“How’s yer Spanish?” is the inevitable question when you decide to live in Spain. With luck and persistence the answer evolves. For years my standard response was, “Hablo poquito. Entiendo mas o menos.” I worked hard to pronunce that bit correctly. Then I demonstrated exactly what my idea of “poquito” was.

These days my answer is “Eso depende.” My restaurant and shopping Spanish is dependable. I can keep my barber and clients who are evesdropping amused. “Como se dice nietos en ingles?” “En ingles? Brats!” “Mal! Mal!” It’s a dad/grandpa comment. I can pull them off in two languages.

I read well enough to decipher official Spanish documents. I am not confident enough to fill out official Spanish paperwork without consulting an expert though. After the consultation I check with fellow expats. If two out of twenty expats come up with an interpretation that vaguely resembles mine, I’m good to go. That level of consensus always seems like a minor miracle.

At this point medical adventures require a doctor who speaks English. Even with detailed Spanish notes I am afraid something will got lost in translation. What one doctor cheerfully diagnosed as a “bug bite” required a second opinion, a biopsy, an incision, and ten stitches. If I am feeling particularly generous, I call the bug bite doctor “Harpo Marx”. When I am not, I use some of the first Spanish vocabulary I mastered.

I speak Spanish slowly, even when I don’t have to. Anything else invites rapid fire Spanish that veers off in unexpected directions. Then if I get three words out of ten, I’m surprised. Not that the words I get are useful. “Que bien! El…vale, vale, vale. Siempre…por supuesto. Lunes o Martes…bien?” That’s enough clues to chance a response. “Lunes o Martes? A que tiempo.” If I read the contextual cues correctly I might get, “Si, Martes o Lunes despues de las nueve y media.”

In this case there was communication, but In Spanish if it has to do with a clock, “hora” is the word to use. “A que Hora?” Is correct, but the brain rejects it. I could never say “At what hour?” in English without conjuring up the butler in a vampire flick.

It’s surprising though. Sometimes enough common ground is found and a brief exchange becomes an actual conversation. I catch myself thinking in Spanish. That’s when I know for sure luck and persistence are paying off.